Changed for the Better

Capturing the moments of our lives, one night or day at a time.  We love being parents.  But I especially love Doug being a Dad.  He is caring, generous, patient, and long-suffering.  Watching him with Samantha, expands the love I have for him. He is so wonderful to say, "I'll do this feeding", when it has been my turn for the last three turns. 

Parenthood changes you, but I believe as stated by one of Doug's co-worker's "we were built for this."  Many people have asked if we are exhausted yet, or if we miss sleep.  And I would say, yes and no, because well we signed up for this job and we've wanted, anticipated, and looked forward to these moments.  (The crying myself to sleep part of waiting was more exhausting)  So it doesn't feel like missing sleep, when there someone to take care of, cuddle, change, feed, sing to, and love. 

Yes, I've been up for 3 hours, would you like a turn?

This is how I found Doug, Saturday morning.  He was trying to give me a few more hours of sleep. Don't be fooled however, he was very much not resting. 

We have been changed the for the better.  We have the extraordinary opportunity to know, visit, and see our birth family.  Every day as we look at Samantha, we think of them, and think of the sacrifice, love, and pain that has been associated with this decision.  We love them!  Often I am looking for resemblances in Samantha's face of them.  Sometimes I say to Doug, "oh look, she has her birth dad's eyes," OR "Is that a dimple like her birth mom?"

We can't ever explain what trust has been shared with us.  There is a saying about love: "If you love something let it go."  I can't imagine the pain or sorrow our birth family has endured because they loved Samantha so much that they let her be part of our family.  This gift they gave us, reminds me everyday to strive to be the best mother I can be.  To love her extra more.  To cuddle her extra close.  To stay up holding her longer.  To give her extra kisses.  To protect her twice as much. Because she has two great mothers and fathers who love her and wants what best for her.  Our lives have been forever intertwined.