Getting Out: Fort Vasquez

Two Saturdays ago, we drove out to Fort Vasquez. It's not far from our house. I figured that there would not be many kids or people there.  I needed to get out of the house but wasn't ready yet to be around children.  And along the way we learned a little bit about the history.  Most fascinating for Doug was the fact that the Trading Post used to be on the east border of the river but is now a 1/4 mile away.

Most interesting fact about this place is that it is in the middle of a Highway.  The highway has to go on both sides of it.  It was influential for fur trading with the Indians in the early 1800's and was left in rubble until the WPA rebuilt it in the 1930's.

(My guess is that they added the Buffalo too but the sign didn't say that)

Trying to stay cool in the carseat, and in the shade. 
Samantha slept through the whole experience.

Walking through the Fort, we got to see where the living quarters were, the kitchen, the closet, and the blacksmith shop.

This is why I love Doug!  He is so silly.  These little guard towers were the only shade available. 

Looking out the windows in the guard tower.  I can imagine that this what the prairie looked like when the traders came to exchange goods.  (Obviously minus the lighting, security cameras and railroad tracks, ;) )

This is what you see from the other guard tower on the other side.  It takes the realism of your experience away when you realize that cars are zipping past doing 65.

Inside the had a Tee pee.  We couldn't find the door or we would have gone inside.  The museum was closed the day we went. But the continental divide and mountains were gorgeous, laced with snow caps, and a bright cloudless sky.

Loving Her Expressions

We've been reading in our little "What to Expect the First Year" book about how she will start to express herself more.  It was so fun to look back at these bath shots and see her little personality shining forward

We are affectionately guessing this is a smile of satisfaction.  "Yeah I am clean!"  Everyone likes baths right. 

Man, have I been exhausted this week.  In fact I told Doug that I hoped that it was Friday today because I've needed his help.  On Wednesday, Samantha did not want to take any naps during the day.  I would put her down to only get her back up after 20 minutes.  I read some information online about starting good sleep habits but lucky by Friday she had it down.  She stays up for about the same time she is sleeping during the day.  She is a stellar night sleeper.  She usually goes 4 hours at night, wakes for only about 30 minutes to feed, and then promptly goes back to sleep.  I just wish that my day started closer to 6:30 not 5:30.

A few weeks ago I posted on facebook "the birds our back"  which literally means we have our own birds, bird droppings, bird nests, bird everything.  For some reason they like our front porch.  It used to be that they tried to build a nest right above our front door, that's when Doug put up tin foil, so they moved to the window sill.  Again Tin foil, and metalic windmills kept them away.  (Sorry neighbors for the tackiness but it is the only thing that has worked)  Well just before Samantha was born, we found a bird's nest in our hanging basket.  There were no eggs in it and it was early in the season, so Doug moved it to our front tree. 

The wind successful knocked it out of the tree and we thought that was the end of it.

Then yesterday, I mentioned to Doug, there seems to be birds in our hanging basket again.  He got up early one morning and this is what he found through our side window.  Yes a little birdie was perched inside our hanging basket.

She is not afraid of us, and will sit in the hanging basket even if we are standing on the porch.  She is super quiet when she leaves as well.  So after she left one day, Doug got the basket down and searched inside, this is what he found below.  The most perfect little nest.  So now what do we do?  I don't know if I have the heart or lack of heart to get rid of this nest.  Especially after such persistence by the bird to be fruitful. 

Blessed are the givers....and grateful are the receivers

We are loving the life we lead and love this new adventure into parenthood.  We took this picture after Samantha had been home for about a week.  I love how tired and frazzled I look.  My hair hadn't seen a blow dryer in at least two weeks, no makeup for 1 week, and thankfully I had clean clothes on this day. 

This is definitely the life, just focusing on Samantha, her needs, her wants, and making the most of our time together.  I've been told that babies grow up way too fast, and we should enjoy these moments.  In fact, in the midst of my deliriously happy state; I asked our adoption worker (K-dawg as I like to call him) to do our first supervisory visit.  To my shock and horror, I had forgotten to clean the kitchen, so much for first impressions. 

One of the first questions, I had for our case worker, is "How soon can we do this again?"  We love being parents but worry that Samantha will be 16 by the time the next child would be chosen to be in our home, so as we ponder what the future holds, we hope that Samantha has many friends, a few close in age siblings, and a happy life.  We want her to know that we wanted her in our home for a long time, met the most amazing friends, and never gave up looking for her.  Our desire to be a parents a second time was only reconfirmed by a blog post about continuing to look for adoption opportunities.  I guess we are always in the finding or "paper pregnant" stage.

You know in the last few weeks, we have heard the same tale. "I know someone that after they adopted, they got pregnant."  It could be a sister, a cousin, my best friend, those people in the other ward, whoever, it is always the same story.  And even though I look forward to having more children in our home, I know that the only course for us, is adoption.  Without disclosing all of our medical histories, sufficient to say, adoption is the way we will continue to build our family.  Like I heard at a fireside awhile back, "Some of us were chosen to be infertile in this life, so that we could adopt."  It is just one of the blessings (or trials) in our life. 

In fact I was reading my scriptures yesterday and came across the passage of scripture, and it hit me so strongly, "Sing O barren thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child;....Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations; spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen they stakes;....In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee...For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed....And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord and great shall be the peace of thy children." (Isaiah 54)

I believe that this passage of scripture explains our adoption process.  As we became comfortable to sing or shout from the rooftops that we would  adopt, we then strengthened and prepared ourselves.  In the midst of the journey we felt despair, but then felt the kindness of the Lord, and were at peace that he was in charge.  Even though our situation came along quickly, we were at peace throughout the whole process.  I will continue to shout it from the rooftops.  We have been so blessed by this miracle. 

To quote from a "most excellent" card we received from the birth grandparents:
"Blessed are the givers and grateful are the receivers." 

Adoption truly blesses both the givers and the receivers.  There can't not be one without the other and we are indeed beyond thankful for our birth family, Samantha is the world to us!  To the 80 year old man at the gym who told us, 5 years ago, "Don't wait to have children. Start now."  I can finally say with confidence, "We never waited, and we always wanted but it was in the Lord's time not ours."

Aunt Jemima Photo Shoot

Okay so we have had some techinical difficulties with our blog since we combined our blogspot and our custom domain.  I didn't want to post these new pictures without having comments enabled.

We are affectionately calling this our Aunt Jemima photo shoot.  We saw our birth mom on Saturday and she thought it was hilarous and coined the phrase "Aunt Jemima photo shoot"  You can tell by these pictures that she is not too happy with me.  She also doesn't like anything on her head.  I am hoping we can convince her differently.  The doc says she has a perfect head and perfect skin. 

And yes, we use a pacificer which we are calling a sucker in hopes one day of making the change to suckers, and then slowly wean her off of them.  They started this trend in the hospital and am told by a nurse friend that it helps teach premie babies to breathe so for the time being we are using it.

This is one of my favorite shots.  Samantha is really active right now and so we are lucky when we can keep her hands out of her face in time to take a picture.

Changed for the Better

Capturing the moments of our lives, one night or day at a time.  We love being parents.  But I especially love Doug being a Dad.  He is caring, generous, patient, and long-suffering.  Watching him with Samantha, expands the love I have for him. He is so wonderful to say, "I'll do this feeding", when it has been my turn for the last three turns. 

Parenthood changes you, but I believe as stated by one of Doug's co-worker's "we were built for this."  Many people have asked if we are exhausted yet, or if we miss sleep.  And I would say, yes and no, because well we signed up for this job and we've wanted, anticipated, and looked forward to these moments.  (The crying myself to sleep part of waiting was more exhausting)  So it doesn't feel like missing sleep, when there someone to take care of, cuddle, change, feed, sing to, and love. 

Yes, I've been up for 3 hours, would you like a turn?

This is how I found Doug, Saturday morning.  He was trying to give me a few more hours of sleep. Don't be fooled however, he was very much not resting. 

We have been changed the for the better.  We have the extraordinary opportunity to know, visit, and see our birth family.  Every day as we look at Samantha, we think of them, and think of the sacrifice, love, and pain that has been associated with this decision.  We love them!  Often I am looking for resemblances in Samantha's face of them.  Sometimes I say to Doug, "oh look, she has her birth dad's eyes," OR "Is that a dimple like her birth mom?"

We can't ever explain what trust has been shared with us.  There is a saying about love: "If you love something let it go."  I can't imagine the pain or sorrow our birth family has endured because they loved Samantha so much that they let her be part of our family.  This gift they gave us, reminds me everyday to strive to be the best mother I can be.  To love her extra more.  To cuddle her extra close.  To stay up holding her longer.  To give her extra kisses.  To protect her twice as much. Because she has two great mothers and fathers who love her and wants what best for her.  Our lives have been forever intertwined.